1. It’s always in the last pocket. Check there first.
2. A lot of life is just bullshit. A lot of bullshit is just life. The rest of it is Facebook.
3. No kid dreams of growing up to have a job cleaning crawlspaces of raccoon and rat infestation. But some people end up with that job and we should be grateful to them.
4. We spend too much time worrying about what others think of us. The truth is, most of the time they don’t.
5. That spider is not more afraid of you than you are of it.
6. Washing your hands after shaking hands with someone is a good way to stop the spread of germs. But washing up immediately, while they are still standing there watching you, is awkward.
7. No one stops being human the moment they become homeless. But, too often, we pretend they do.
8. The breath mint was offered for a reason. Take it.
9. If you have a chance to be at your son’s baseball game, you should be at your son’s baseball game.
10. Dance like no one is watching and you will be celebrated for your self-confidence and free spirit. Eat buttered popcorn like no one is watching and you’ll lose peoples’ respect.